By: Jesse Striewski

By all means, I should’ve known better (and perhaps I did but just didn’t want to believe it) to trust that Hollywood wouldn’t take yet another beloved childhood property and make an absolute mess with it. But of course, that’s what they almost always do, so why expect anything less with the new Masters of the Universe? I was really pulling for it too, and wanted to believe it could be done right this time.

It actually starts off promising enough; we’re introduced to the young Prince Adam of Eternos (a.k.a. He-Man, played by Artie Wilkinson-Hunt before Nicholas Galitzine takes over as the young adult version), struggling to earn respect from both his father the King Randor (James Purefoy) and peers while training to be a warrior under the guidance of the king’s general Duncan/Man-At-Arms, played by Idris Elba.

Things quickly go south once the evil Skeltor (Jared Leto) and his army attack and take over the Castle Grayskull, overthrowing the kingdom in the process. But with the help of the Sorceress (Morena Baccarin) Adam is able to escape safely to Earth with the Sword of Power.

And that is where the film lost me. From that point on, it went from what seemed like would be a straight epic action-adventure movie, to a painfully executed slapstick comedy that just tries so hard to throw in another cheap joke each and every chance it gets, effectively reducing its characters to walking one-liners rather than the feared warriors that they should have been portrayed as. (Just look at the embarrassing performance from Alison Brie as Evil-Lyn here.)

That’s not to say there are not a few bright spots; Camila Mendes of TV’s Riverdale is always fun to watch whenever on screen. And a cameo from Dolph Lundgren – He-Man from the original 1987 film (which admittedly had its own flaws but still works far better as an actual adventure film than this mess here) is of course warranted. But as much as I kept wanting the film to get back on track (there are moments of hope for it to do so), it just continues to go further off the rails each and every chance it gets, each bad joke and clunky over-the-top fight scene seemingly getting worse than the last.

I was reminded of the cringy feeling I got while watching the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film from Michael Bay in 2014. It doesn’t care about or respect its audience in the slightest, but rather expects you to put up with any unnecessary nonsense it throws at you, all for the sake of those who are either completely new to the material, or have too short of attention spans to watch anything with actual substance. (I would’ve much rather seen something more akin to the recent animated Netflix series Revelation, which was much more faithful to the source material.) This is the perfect example of Hollywood getting it wrong again; judging by its box office intake so far, maybe they’ll actually listen to its core audience for once.

Rating: 2/5 Stars